To be honest I was nervous coming back to Bamako. I was a jumbled mess of conflicted emotions, thoughts and energies. I felt internal and external factors that were pulling me to stay home where I am “safe and loved” and to go back “and do what I do.”
See, I have a BEAUTIFUL community of people in Canada who push me to be better, love me unconditionally, and respect me. People who want me to succeed, who are honest, loving, and kind. Who are willing to give so much of themselves and who I am lucky enough to give back to. So given the choice between staying home or going somewhere new the choice would be simple for a lot of people – stay home and be with the people I care about.
But, I have no back-up plan. Living and working internationally is the only thing I have ever wanted to do. Helping to build a global community that stands for love, life, equity, justice – that is what I have ALWAYS wanted to do. And now, I am doing it. I have a job that challenges me, and allows me to participate in the ‘messier’ side of our community – and hopefully be part of a solution that equals the playing field a little.
So I came back. But I did so with giant alligator sized tears and I don’t really know if that means I won’t make it long in the world of working in development. But for now, I gotta go back out there and take some names and kick some asses, and work with a lot of brilliant minds who don’t get a fair chance at having a voice. If not for anyone else, or any big changes, but for myself.